Finally, once and for all, the unspoken rules for the baggage claim are now spoken:
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Before leaving on your journey, mark your bag with some distinguishing feature. Spraypainting something in what may look like Arabic is a sure way to attract attention from the TSA fairies, and it makes your bag easy to identify to boot!
When waiting for your bag, make sure you stand 2-3 feet from the baggage carousel so that everyone has a chance to see the degree of devastation wrought upon their baggage.
Speaking of the degree of devastation, remember that it's a contest and you must so your utmost to win. Never admit that someone else's has been manhandled more than yours. Except for that guy who spraypainted Arabic-looking writing on his bag. In pink.
Do not lick every bag to "claim" it.
When a bag that looks vaguely like yours, black for example, comes around the corner, grab first and ask questions later. If someone says that they think the bag might be theirs, politely tell them The Hell It Is and politely yank the bag away from their grip.
Mumble something vagely apologetic-sounding as you give the above person the bag that is, after all, theirs.
If your bag is missing, go talk to the airline. They will tell you that your bag will be conveniently delivered to your hotel/relative's place/opium den the next business day. It's not true, but they'll tell you that. Especially if the next day in question is Christmas and your bag has all your gifts in it. Trust me.
In order to guarantee delivery before you return home, make sure to spend the next day yelling at poor, powerless airline employees. If you can lead them in a revolt a la Kamp Krusty, you may get your luggage. There is no more powerful force in the universe than the collective will of motivated airline employees. If just one can make your 3-hour flight hell on (above?) earth, imagine what they can do when they get together.
Inquiring minds want to know, how much of this happened to you, and how much is mere musings because of what happened to you?
And I may or may not have told Khristian about you. . . she's the one I told you about. :P
I am not telling you anything about the conversation until I pick you up from the airport though.
Works for me.
As for the baggage claim thing, last year they lost my bag. I think it went to Texas. I was flying on Christmas eve, so they said it would be in the next day (it had some of my presents in it). The airline said they'd deliver it to my parents' house by 10 am...then 12 pm...we had to stay on the phone repeatedly or it would have been a week.
On this trip, some enthusiastic kids were crowding the carousel so I couldn't easily get in. But they're, you know, kids, so that's fine.
Other than that, it's sort of observation.
Good to hear, I was worried for a while.