Me: Wake up! It's time to go to the gym!
Body: *Sniff, Blink* Huh? What time is it?
Me: Time to get back on the saddle.
Body: Wait, we're not going in there, are we? It's been a while.
Me: Yeah, well, you were sick. I was being nice.
Body: You're not being nice now, I don't want to get on that thing.
Me: Come on, the bike is your favorite.
Body: You know, maybe tomorrow. *Yawn*
Me: No, we've put this off long enough let's go.
* * *
Body: Oh, my dear God, what are you doing to me?!
Me: Oh, don't be such a baby, it's not that bad.
Body: Where are my lungs, I can't feel my lungs!
Me: Don't you think you're being a little melodramatic?
Body: Somebody please slit my throat! Please? *Whimper*
* * *
Me: See, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Body: . . .
Me: Oh, so now you're not talking to me, is that it?
Body: . . .
Me: Yeah, that's real mature. How would you feel about food that's too spicy for dinner tonight? Huh? You wanna play?
Body: . . .
Me: This can't end well.
Now if only I thought you were a threat to society I might could get you admitted to the state hospital against your will. hmmmm.. but then who would I go to coffee with on Fridays?