Something's been bothering me lately. I feel like I'm perpetrating some kind of scam. Here's the setup:
Some people are paying me money, sometimes up to thousands of dollars total, to write words on paper. All I have to do is learn some stuff and write it down. And they give me money. I'm getting away with something.
OK, so obviously this is a bit sarcastic, but I do truthfully wonder at what's going on. The state is spending a considerable amount of money, for just one of my jobs, to generate a document that will maybe be 70 pages long. It's incomprehensible that it could possibly be worth it. Then again, I suppose it must be, considering they asked me to do it. The money, broken down hourly, isn't really that much. Still, I can't help but marvel at this whole business.
I suppose I'm coming to terms with the fact that law school is sort of commoditizing my mind. I've gained (and hopefully will continue to do so) some specialized knowledges and skills. I suppose it is now worth it for some people to pay money to access those skills. I've paid high rates for plumbers and electricians before (and been happy to do so!), so I don't know why it should feel so weird to be among those people with marketable, and expensive, skills. It just does.
My other job was sort of a service job, and was far more varied, as is my other legal job, the one I've had since February. I think part of why I notice this is just that my entire task is to provide one product. I have this strange fear that when I'm done, they'll look at my output and say, "That's it? We paid X-thousand dollars for this? What were we thinking!?" I doubt they would, but paranoia has never been constrained by reality.
This whole thing is going to take some getting used to.
That was what was most appealing about being a lawyer. I wanted someone to pay me for the knowledge that was in my head. As opposed to knowledge that I could give someone in one week of on-the-job-training.
It's interesting that for you it's slightly threatening or unnerving at first thought.
Yeah, I don't think I ever really connected money so directly with my work product before. I don't think I've really ever been in the position that one followed so directly from the other, but now that's exactly what I've got. Exactly one work product, one task to finish.