New Diet

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I think last night I discovered the perfect diet. I call it "The Wendy's Diet." We all know that many times, going to a fast food establishment is hit or miss. The fries could have been made an hour ago, or they could be fresh out of the greasy goodness. Sometimes, when everything works perfectly, you get a great experience.

The Wendy's Diet works like this: go to Wendy's and order, as I did, nuggets and fries. When they are the most horrible, old, cold, and dried-up specimens, you won't be able to eat them. You'll throw them away, and you've just eaten less than you otherwise would. That happened to me last night. I think the nuggets tasted like plastic.

On the way home, after I'd sampled the nuggets (I have a habit of eating while driving), I was trying to think of what I would say if it were worth my time to call and complain. I have a few options:

  • I think these came from the freezer, you should fry them first.
  • I work in a mental hospital, and I've begun to envy the patients who eat their own feces.
  • I'm sorry, I think you misunderstood me. I wanted real nuggets, not the display models.
  • (My personal favorite) I worked at this Wendy's ten years ago (true, for about three months) and I remember making these particular nuggets myself.

Any more ideas? Feel free to comment.


Jenn said:

If you don't give me a refund, I will not hesitate to impale you with one of these nuggets.

I know you're a disappointment to yourself and your parents and that you wake up and go to sleep every day to the sound of your own screams, but COME ON!!! We both know you need this job, so get in the kitchen and make me some more )(*@#&$-ing NUGGETS!!

*Sob uncontrollably* Why did you do it??

This taste like ass!! Try it...NOW!!!

(Those are just a couple I can think of.)

Macknzie said:

LOL. I like 'em. I thought of another one.

I'm holding it up to the phone, now lick the receiver . . . yep, that's exactly what it tastes like.

Jenn said:

I like it! But, since they work in a fast-food-restaurant, I'd say that everything is coated with the fries flavoring...even the phone. So, the joke might be lost on them.

Btw, I didn't mean no disrespect to fast food workers. I've done my fair share of working in fast food restaurants:(

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This page contains a single entry by Mackenzie published on November 29, 2005 5:21 PM.

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