Yesterday, for the second time in my life, one of my oldest and closest friends moved away. By the second time, I mean that it is the second time this one person has moved away. I should also mention she is sort of tied with others for 'oldest friend' status; I met many with whom I am still close on that day.
I feel regret most closely, mostly having to do with law school. She and her husband moved back to Laramie during the summer before my first year of law school. I was quite pleased at this develompent, because they had lived elsewhere for some time, and I was looking forward to seeing them more often. I did see them more often, but not as often as I would like. One major influence was law school. Ironically, if I had been less successful than I have, I would probably have seen them more often. If I had been less pleased with the friends I made, the same. Law school, however, took a major chunk of my life, and made itself the central focus.
Just to be clear, I could have made more of an effort. I could have taken more time to spend with them, and I could have invited them to more events. I didn't, and that is my burden to bear. Still, there's something about the law school experience that makes one insular, encouraging one to spend time only with one's own kind.
I was the 'maid of honor' at my best friend's wedding. It's an experience I'll never forget, and I'm proud to have my place in her life. I wish I could do more, though, and be more. It's too late now. But I will always remember this as a lesson. Look outside what immediately needs our attention. There are some things that need our attention now, even though we may not recognize them until later.
Later may be too late.
We'll stay close, of that I'm sure. I'll always be there for her, and she for me. In fact, I expect that once I have a real job, I'll be able to see her a bit more often, being able to afford plane tickets and all. It's just not the same as being in the same town, though.
So, any advice for keeping in contact with close friends over long distances and a fair amount of time? I know of others who have had the same situation--MackenzieMom, for example--and have managed to weather it. I'd be open to any tips. I've done it before, to greater or lesser success (I hope you're well, IowaBoy, even though we don't talk much), but I'm feeling a bit vulnerable right now and could use the pep talks.
I'm still alive and kickin'. Mone and I are both super proud of ya and we wouldn't mind hearing more from you. I'm guessing you'll end up in Oregon soon enough. So, finish up your last year and give me a call sometime.
TC
I moved across the country in order to come to law school, leaving several people behind. I have had varying success with keeping in touch with those important to me over there on the other coast. My sister and I, however, have kept in pretty consistent contact.
I think that the key is to use the small chunks of time as well as the big. If you don't have time to sit down and write a huge e-mail including everything that's happened to you in the past 2 weeks - send the quick "I'm thinking about you and I miss you!" e-mail. The larger chunks of time will come, but if you put off contact until that point, it's harder to span the gap.